Friday, May 21, 2004
Going Home
Bye everyone!
I’m going home this weekend to be with my parents and to see Kelly's parents renew their wedding vows. It will be tons of fun (!) and there are free drinks! I mean, who could ask for anything more? Not me!
Have fun weekends! I surely will.
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!
Bye everyone!
I’m going home this weekend to be with my parents and to see Kelly's parents renew their wedding vows. It will be tons of fun (!) and there are free drinks! I mean, who could ask for anything more? Not me!
Have fun weekends! I surely will.
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Today
Today I went to a staff lunch. We do this lunch thing about once a year and it is always a super boring event. This time however, I managed to drink 3 glasses of wine during the lunch and ended up walking out in a much better mood than I would have otherwise. Unfortunately, Ari and I had HIGH hopes to go home after our lunch event, but we were forced to come back to work for the last hour of the work day. We were MIGHTY pissed at that. But I realized that drinking wine during a work shift makes me a happier boy than usual.
Ari is ready to kill someone right now. Time for me to shove some love down her throat before she puts my boss in a headlock.
That’s all I have to say today.
Super interesting post, right?
I know! I am almost cumming in my pants from the sheer excitement of typing it.
ADIOS MOTHAFUCKA!
Today I went to a staff lunch. We do this lunch thing about once a year and it is always a super boring event. This time however, I managed to drink 3 glasses of wine during the lunch and ended up walking out in a much better mood than I would have otherwise. Unfortunately, Ari and I had HIGH hopes to go home after our lunch event, but we were forced to come back to work for the last hour of the work day. We were MIGHTY pissed at that. But I realized that drinking wine during a work shift makes me a happier boy than usual.
Ari is ready to kill someone right now. Time for me to shove some love down her throat before she puts my boss in a headlock.
That’s all I have to say today.
Super interesting post, right?
I know! I am almost cumming in my pants from the sheer excitement of typing it.
ADIOS MOTHAFUCKA!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Yes, I Am Still Living
Let me just say that this website is just about the biggest thorn in my side. It looks like diarrhea and I don’t have the time or the energy to fix the details…such as the links and recent posts sections. So basically, I struggle and I struggle and I keep on keeping on. (okay, get a life Joe. It’s a fucking blogger, not a Pulitzer Prize winning venture. Ok, yeah it is.)
My hair is wicked out of control today.
So, today when I came into work, I found a forward in my inbox asking me to check out what the “Human Rights Campaign” has accomplished in their efforts to get Massachusetts lawmakers to allow gay marriages. I quickly jumped to the site and saw some of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen.
In front of my eyes were gay people getting married; lesbian couples, young and old, gay males, young and old. It made my heart burst with excitement and joy. May 17th will be remembered as the day when gay people all over the nation came together for a small, yet significant victory. It just takes one to cause change. Thank you to Massachusetts for being that one.
I needed this uplifting moment to combat the other moment I experienced on my way to work today. There was a poll in yesterday’s “AMNew York” that asked “Do you think that gay people should be allowed to get married?” That was it. No fluff, no need for details. Just “Do you think that gay people should be allowed to get married?”
All last night I kept thinking to myself “I wonder how the people of New York will answer this poll.”
Now, I understand that it’s a stupid little poll done by a free daily newspaper, but I was very curious to see how the open-minded world of NYC feels about gays being allowed to get married. (Now understand that I use the word “allowed” which makes me unbelievably nauseous as I type this – I mean, I don’t remember having to “allow” straight people to get married…but then again I’m inferior, I forgot) As soon as I woke up today I thought, “I wonder how the poll will turn out.”
When I finally got my hands on the paper, I noticed that the poll wasn’t in its usual spot on the front cover. I desperately tore through the publication trying to find the stupid little quiz that had me up during the night thinking about it. Finally, I found it tucked away at the bottom of the page. 60% of people in NYC believe that gay people should NOT have the right to get married.
HURL.
I was immediately crushed. I realize that I live in a fantasy bubble of a world since NYC is one of the few places where everyone has a chance regardless of race, religious beliefs, sexual preference, or the fact that you are an incredibly ridiculous weirdo. But obviously this is not true. The MAN will keep you down for as long as he can.
In my heart of gay hearts, I hope that the PEOPLE will band together on this issue. I don’t think that all straight people have to agree on this controversial topic, but I do think that if you disagree, stay out of it. Don’t make my life worse because you have a belief on something that you will never ever understand. It’s like me telling a woman that she can’t have an abortion. I don’t particularly believe in abortion as I do think its murder. However, will you see me EVER vote against a Pro-Choice bill? Never. It’s not my issue and how dare I make that decision when I’ll never carry a baby in my womb?
I think it makes logical sense.
For all of you straight supporters out there, thank you. Without your voices on this topic, the issue would go nowhere. It’s strange how straight people are the only voices of reason in this whole case. Gay people speak out and it’s like “Don’t listen to him! He already HAS the disease. Let’s hear from someone who is more objective! How about you Bobby McNeverHadaDickinhisMouth? YOU tell us what’s its like being a gay man in 2004.”
Case in point.
So there was an up to my day and also there was a down.
If you would like to sign a nationwide guest book congratulating all of the new gay couples that were just married, go HERE.!
If this topic irks you and you disagree with everything I’ve just said, Shhh. It’s about time we didn’t hear any more from you.
Let me just say that this website is just about the biggest thorn in my side. It looks like diarrhea and I don’t have the time or the energy to fix the details…such as the links and recent posts sections. So basically, I struggle and I struggle and I keep on keeping on. (okay, get a life Joe. It’s a fucking blogger, not a Pulitzer Prize winning venture. Ok, yeah it is.)
My hair is wicked out of control today.
So, today when I came into work, I found a forward in my inbox asking me to check out what the “Human Rights Campaign” has accomplished in their efforts to get Massachusetts lawmakers to allow gay marriages. I quickly jumped to the site and saw some of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen.
In front of my eyes were gay people getting married; lesbian couples, young and old, gay males, young and old. It made my heart burst with excitement and joy. May 17th will be remembered as the day when gay people all over the nation came together for a small, yet significant victory. It just takes one to cause change. Thank you to Massachusetts for being that one.
I needed this uplifting moment to combat the other moment I experienced on my way to work today. There was a poll in yesterday’s “AMNew York” that asked “Do you think that gay people should be allowed to get married?” That was it. No fluff, no need for details. Just “Do you think that gay people should be allowed to get married?”
All last night I kept thinking to myself “I wonder how the people of New York will answer this poll.”
Now, I understand that it’s a stupid little poll done by a free daily newspaper, but I was very curious to see how the open-minded world of NYC feels about gays being allowed to get married. (Now understand that I use the word “allowed” which makes me unbelievably nauseous as I type this – I mean, I don’t remember having to “allow” straight people to get married…but then again I’m inferior, I forgot) As soon as I woke up today I thought, “I wonder how the poll will turn out.”
When I finally got my hands on the paper, I noticed that the poll wasn’t in its usual spot on the front cover. I desperately tore through the publication trying to find the stupid little quiz that had me up during the night thinking about it. Finally, I found it tucked away at the bottom of the page. 60% of people in NYC believe that gay people should NOT have the right to get married.
HURL.
I was immediately crushed. I realize that I live in a fantasy bubble of a world since NYC is one of the few places where everyone has a chance regardless of race, religious beliefs, sexual preference, or the fact that you are an incredibly ridiculous weirdo. But obviously this is not true. The MAN will keep you down for as long as he can.
In my heart of gay hearts, I hope that the PEOPLE will band together on this issue. I don’t think that all straight people have to agree on this controversial topic, but I do think that if you disagree, stay out of it. Don’t make my life worse because you have a belief on something that you will never ever understand. It’s like me telling a woman that she can’t have an abortion. I don’t particularly believe in abortion as I do think its murder. However, will you see me EVER vote against a Pro-Choice bill? Never. It’s not my issue and how dare I make that decision when I’ll never carry a baby in my womb?
I think it makes logical sense.
For all of you straight supporters out there, thank you. Without your voices on this topic, the issue would go nowhere. It’s strange how straight people are the only voices of reason in this whole case. Gay people speak out and it’s like “Don’t listen to him! He already HAS the disease. Let’s hear from someone who is more objective! How about you Bobby McNeverHadaDickinhisMouth? YOU tell us what’s its like being a gay man in 2004.”
Case in point.
So there was an up to my day and also there was a down.
If you would like to sign a nationwide guest book congratulating all of the new gay couples that were just married, go HERE.!
If this topic irks you and you disagree with everything I’ve just said, Shhh. It’s about time we didn’t hear any more from you.
Monday, May 17, 2004
POST HAS BEEN PULLED
Friday, May 14, 2004
End of the Week Tidbits
I had the weirdest dream last night. I was hanging with some friends at a party when all of a sudden I had to take a huge dump. I went in to the bathroom, pulled down my jeans and sat on the can. I squeezed and squeezed, but couldn’t get any of the shit out. As I pushed harder and harder, I actually felt like I had to go more. Eventually I got so frustrated with pushing that I got up and went back to the party. Shortly after that I woke up and discovered that I was covered in my own shit. It was random and kind of erotic.
Ok SIKE. I did not wake up to find my body covered in my own shit. And if I did, do you REALLY think that I would find that erotic? Ok, some people do, but definitely not me. I have my own fetishes and they do not revolve around feces. They revolve around vomit.
If you have met me in person, you know that I have a very spiky style haircut. Well, last week, I’m sitting on the subway, listening to my headphones, minding my own lame business, when this big black woman walks by me and pushes down my spikes. I’m like huh? She continues to walk out of the subway and doesn’t look back. I guess it was funny that she patted me on the head, but it was also strange and made me feel a tad ridiculous. Luckily, I use so much pomade in my hair that it will take her weeks to get it off of her hand.
Last night I went to happy hour with Paul and Kelly. It was a super good time. Paul wasn’t in a great mood when we got together, but he ended up pulling out of it and I think he totally enjoyed himself. After a few chocolate martinis, we got into a cab and jetted back to my apartment. Once there, Kelly and Paul whipped up a feast of barbeque chicken and asparagus. Angie came over shortly after dinner was made and we all hung out at my new kitchen table for awhile. We smoked some fatty joints and drank some beers and then it was game time. Guess what we played? Well…it was GUESS WHO!
Have you played Guess Who? before? It’s a super easy, super fun game that revolves around figuring out the other person’s character based on questions that are asked. Most people ask questions like “Is your person a male?” Or “does your person have a bald head”? When WE play together, we ask questions like “Is your person a young pedophile or an old pedophile?” I distinctly remember Angie asking Kelly if her character “needed some more rouge for their face”. After dying laughing, Kelly said “no”.
After our game playing, I threw Paul’s wasted ass in bed and watched the finale of ER. I kept saying that I wanted Ming Na to die in last night’s episode. Fortunately, there was a huge cliff hanger that she was involved in, so hopefully she will bite it in the first episode next year. It’s not that I have anything personal against her. I just think she’s a crap actress that takes up too much screen time – you know…nothing personal. Bring on more of the Abby and the Sam! For a long time, I wasn’t a huge fan of Abby’s character, but she has since grown on me tremendously. I can’t wait for her to finally be a doctor next season! ROCK!
I guess that’s it. I hope everyone has a super really great awesome super weekend. Do something fun and hug someone you love.
Be back here on Monday!
Peace.
I had the weirdest dream last night. I was hanging with some friends at a party when all of a sudden I had to take a huge dump. I went in to the bathroom, pulled down my jeans and sat on the can. I squeezed and squeezed, but couldn’t get any of the shit out. As I pushed harder and harder, I actually felt like I had to go more. Eventually I got so frustrated with pushing that I got up and went back to the party. Shortly after that I woke up and discovered that I was covered in my own shit. It was random and kind of erotic.
Ok SIKE. I did not wake up to find my body covered in my own shit. And if I did, do you REALLY think that I would find that erotic? Ok, some people do, but definitely not me. I have my own fetishes and they do not revolve around feces. They revolve around vomit.
If you have met me in person, you know that I have a very spiky style haircut. Well, last week, I’m sitting on the subway, listening to my headphones, minding my own lame business, when this big black woman walks by me and pushes down my spikes. I’m like huh? She continues to walk out of the subway and doesn’t look back. I guess it was funny that she patted me on the head, but it was also strange and made me feel a tad ridiculous. Luckily, I use so much pomade in my hair that it will take her weeks to get it off of her hand.
Last night I went to happy hour with Paul and Kelly. It was a super good time. Paul wasn’t in a great mood when we got together, but he ended up pulling out of it and I think he totally enjoyed himself. After a few chocolate martinis, we got into a cab and jetted back to my apartment. Once there, Kelly and Paul whipped up a feast of barbeque chicken and asparagus. Angie came over shortly after dinner was made and we all hung out at my new kitchen table for awhile. We smoked some fatty joints and drank some beers and then it was game time. Guess what we played? Well…it was GUESS WHO!
Have you played Guess Who? before? It’s a super easy, super fun game that revolves around figuring out the other person’s character based on questions that are asked. Most people ask questions like “Is your person a male?” Or “does your person have a bald head”? When WE play together, we ask questions like “Is your person a young pedophile or an old pedophile?” I distinctly remember Angie asking Kelly if her character “needed some more rouge for their face”. After dying laughing, Kelly said “no”.
After our game playing, I threw Paul’s wasted ass in bed and watched the finale of ER. I kept saying that I wanted Ming Na to die in last night’s episode. Fortunately, there was a huge cliff hanger that she was involved in, so hopefully she will bite it in the first episode next year. It’s not that I have anything personal against her. I just think she’s a crap actress that takes up too much screen time – you know…nothing personal. Bring on more of the Abby and the Sam! For a long time, I wasn’t a huge fan of Abby’s character, but she has since grown on me tremendously. I can’t wait for her to finally be a doctor next season! ROCK!
I guess that’s it. I hope everyone has a super really great awesome super weekend. Do something fun and hug someone you love.
Be back here on Monday!
Peace.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
My Brother Was Supposed to Come Home Today
I’ve been dreading this day for weeks. It could have been such an exciting couple of days for me, but instead, I’m doing my best to pretend as though Winfield was scheduled to stay in Iraq all along. I had a very long talk with him yesterday that resulted in 30 minutes of sobbing. It was not the way I wanted to end my day.
Winfield is carrying a lot of anger with him these days. He is furious with the ARMY for extending his leave. He is furious with the soldiers who tortured the Iraqi prisoners. He is at his wits end and he is looking to take out this frustration and anger on anyone who crosses his path. I tried (as best as I could) to diffuse his fury bomb, but there wasn’t much I could do. Eventually I just cried and cried and cried.
The two of us decided that there are two positives that we can look forward to amidst all of this negative.
1) Winfield is, without a doubt, leaving the service next May. His time is done. He has served his country, succeeding in ways that we never thought possible. He no longer agrees with what the military is doing and he wants no part of it. He is exhausted and needs a break. As he said to me yesterday “His life has been on hold for far too long. It’s time to pick up where he left off over 3 years ago”.
2) Each day of hell is one day closer to heaven. We are (VERY tentatively) planning his homecoming for early August. My family is very cautious about getting any sort of hopes up, since last time it took us weeks to get over the disappointment. In fact, none of us are fully over that disappointment yet. It’s like an aching that never goes away.
As we got off the phone, my eyes completely swollen, Winfield said “I miss you so much Joe. You are my best friend and I know we’ll pick up where we left off.” I choked on my last remaining tears and told him to “Be safe” and to “call soon”.
After that conversation I wanted nothing, but to leave work. I stuck it out for about an hour more and took off as soon as I could get the chance.
What these soldiers do on a daily basis is something that I will never understand, although it consumes my thoughts throughout each day. I wish I had the bravery that these men possess. For the rest of my life I will live with the highest respect for our military and the families and friends that are left behind.
It’s an experience that changes lives forever.
I’ve been dreading this day for weeks. It could have been such an exciting couple of days for me, but instead, I’m doing my best to pretend as though Winfield was scheduled to stay in Iraq all along. I had a very long talk with him yesterday that resulted in 30 minutes of sobbing. It was not the way I wanted to end my day.
Winfield is carrying a lot of anger with him these days. He is furious with the ARMY for extending his leave. He is furious with the soldiers who tortured the Iraqi prisoners. He is at his wits end and he is looking to take out this frustration and anger on anyone who crosses his path. I tried (as best as I could) to diffuse his fury bomb, but there wasn’t much I could do. Eventually I just cried and cried and cried.
The two of us decided that there are two positives that we can look forward to amidst all of this negative.
1) Winfield is, without a doubt, leaving the service next May. His time is done. He has served his country, succeeding in ways that we never thought possible. He no longer agrees with what the military is doing and he wants no part of it. He is exhausted and needs a break. As he said to me yesterday “His life has been on hold for far too long. It’s time to pick up where he left off over 3 years ago”.
2) Each day of hell is one day closer to heaven. We are (VERY tentatively) planning his homecoming for early August. My family is very cautious about getting any sort of hopes up, since last time it took us weeks to get over the disappointment. In fact, none of us are fully over that disappointment yet. It’s like an aching that never goes away.
As we got off the phone, my eyes completely swollen, Winfield said “I miss you so much Joe. You are my best friend and I know we’ll pick up where we left off.” I choked on my last remaining tears and told him to “Be safe” and to “call soon”.
After that conversation I wanted nothing, but to leave work. I stuck it out for about an hour more and took off as soon as I could get the chance.
What these soldiers do on a daily basis is something that I will never understand, although it consumes my thoughts throughout each day. I wish I had the bravery that these men possess. For the rest of my life I will live with the highest respect for our military and the families and friends that are left behind.
It’s an experience that changes lives forever.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
So, I got so frustrated with my fucked up blogger, that I decided to pick a new template and hope that it solved my problems.
Well it did, kind of. I've lost my links now and the page looks like a literal piece of dog shit, but at least it's not listing the posts backwards anymore. It was driving me up the fucking wall.
Sorry that the links are gone...I will put them back someday. Just not today. Or tomorrow, or maybe ever. haha. Some day.
I've had enough of Blogger for today. And for tomorrow, and maybe forever.
Sike!
Just trying to accept my new dogshit template.
Well it did, kind of. I've lost my links now and the page looks like a literal piece of dog shit, but at least it's not listing the posts backwards anymore. It was driving me up the fucking wall.
Sorry that the links are gone...I will put them back someday. Just not today. Or tomorrow, or maybe ever. haha. Some day.
I've had enough of Blogger for today. And for tomorrow, and maybe forever.
Sike!
Just trying to accept my new dogshit template.
Monday, May 10, 2004
help me before I develop a vagina and cellulite!
I’m super tired today. I have no idea why. I surely slept 8 hours last night as well as 12 hours the night before. I should be so rested, it’s ridiculous. But after eating my lunch (consisting of the mandatory two slices of pizza), I crashed hard on my way back to work. I’m sitting here yawning as though I could fall over from sheer exhaustion.
Let’s see…pretty uneventful weekend overall. Did a great deal of writing on the script that we are developing for our next theatre production. Watched a ton of movies, including Ruthless People, The Order, Spy Kids 2 (it really wasn’t as bad as it seems), and It Runs in the Family, which is the sequel to A Christmas Story. I didn’t know there was a sequel either! It was pretty good too. Nothing to freak out about, but definitely a “must see” if you are into that whole Ralphie and his Red Rider BB gun, thing.
I also jerked off 4 times in the matter of 36 hours, but who’s counting, really.
Last nights Survivor finale was truly the highlight of all of my weekend adventures. It was three hours of non-stop joy for this Joe CuttheShit. Congrats Amber(!), although I totally wanted my boy, Rob Mariano, to take away the title. Ah well…that’s what you get for falling in love, eh Rob? And did that boy look GOOD last night, or twat?
In other news, I am slowly becoming a magazine whore. I can’t stop buying People, US Weekly, and In Touch magazine. I am fastly turning into a full blown woman. Someone help!
Is it wrong that after work I am going to go immediately over to Paul’s, climb in to bed, turn on the 2 hour presentation of The Swan and call it a night? Ah shit…I am FASTLY turning into a woman. Someone hand me the bon bons and do my nails. I prefer bright red or pink to match my pumps.
Ever feel like you were going to cry for no reason? All of a sudden I think I just caught a sob in my throat. I swallowed it down and sat here a little stunned. What do I have to cry about? Get a hold of yourself, you menstruating asshole!
I may need to go now. It’s quite possible that the more I type, the more my feminine side takes over. At this point, I’m craving long bubble baths and nights curled up on the phone, chatting with my closest girlfriends. Anyone up for a movie on Lifetime?
I’ll make the popcorn and meet you on the couch with a box of Kleenex.
I’m super tired today. I have no idea why. I surely slept 8 hours last night as well as 12 hours the night before. I should be so rested, it’s ridiculous. But after eating my lunch (consisting of the mandatory two slices of pizza), I crashed hard on my way back to work. I’m sitting here yawning as though I could fall over from sheer exhaustion.
Let’s see…pretty uneventful weekend overall. Did a great deal of writing on the script that we are developing for our next theatre production. Watched a ton of movies, including Ruthless People, The Order, Spy Kids 2 (it really wasn’t as bad as it seems), and It Runs in the Family, which is the sequel to A Christmas Story. I didn’t know there was a sequel either! It was pretty good too. Nothing to freak out about, but definitely a “must see” if you are into that whole Ralphie and his Red Rider BB gun, thing.
I also jerked off 4 times in the matter of 36 hours, but who’s counting, really.
Last nights Survivor finale was truly the highlight of all of my weekend adventures. It was three hours of non-stop joy for this Joe CuttheShit. Congrats Amber(!), although I totally wanted my boy, Rob Mariano, to take away the title. Ah well…that’s what you get for falling in love, eh Rob? And did that boy look GOOD last night, or twat?
In other news, I am slowly becoming a magazine whore. I can’t stop buying People, US Weekly, and In Touch magazine. I am fastly turning into a full blown woman. Someone help!
Is it wrong that after work I am going to go immediately over to Paul’s, climb in to bed, turn on the 2 hour presentation of The Swan and call it a night? Ah shit…I am FASTLY turning into a woman. Someone hand me the bon bons and do my nails. I prefer bright red or pink to match my pumps.
Ever feel like you were going to cry for no reason? All of a sudden I think I just caught a sob in my throat. I swallowed it down and sat here a little stunned. What do I have to cry about? Get a hold of yourself, you menstruating asshole!
I may need to go now. It’s quite possible that the more I type, the more my feminine side takes over. At this point, I’m craving long bubble baths and nights curled up on the phone, chatting with my closest girlfriends. Anyone up for a movie on Lifetime?
I’ll make the popcorn and meet you on the couch with a box of Kleenex.
Friday, May 07, 2004
A Friendly Retraction on a Fabulous Friday
Well, my bad mood has passed, so now I can be totally honest when I say that I LOVED Friends last night! I was being a bitch yesterday and I didn’t give the show the absolute credit it deserves. As the clip show aired, I started to get all sentimental. Monica, Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Chandler…dammit I’m REALLY gonna miss those friends of ours.
In my opinion, the finale was done in perfect Friends tradition. There was the suspense of Ross and Rachel, the storyline filler of Joey and Chandler’s breaking the fooz ball table, and the crazy Phoebe acting out in ridiculous ways to provide ultimate comic relief. As the show drew closer to 10pm, I felt really sad inside. If you were in front of your television last night watching this finale, you were a part of history in the making.
When I woke up this morning, my first thought was “Friends is truly over now. No matter how you feel about the show itself, it’s now off the air. An era, as we know it, has been completed. Unless you were in Cancun celebrating your honeymoon, last night’s viewing is something that you will remember for the rest of your life. Where were YOU during the last episode of Friends?
In other news, my generous friend, Kelly, bought me the new Nelly Furtado CD, Folklore. I can’t explain to you how fucking awesome it is. That girl is a musical genius. If you don’t have it already, and you enjoyed the first album she put out, go and get the new one. It’s much different, but totally top notch. I am big into most kinds of music as it is, but it’s very rare that I get a CD that’s as exceptional as this one is. I mean…One Trick Pony is where it’s at!
So glad its Friday! I’m muchly looking forward to going out in the city tonight for a raging good time. No lesbian bars though…I’d prefer to go home in one piece. I have a lot of writing to do this weekend as well as sleep to catch up on. Also, if I go another weekend without seeing Kill Bill, I’m going to cut my dick off. I’ve been dying to see it for years and years and I never get the opportunity. Well, that all changes this weekend! Bill…here I cum!
That should be it for me! I hope everyone has a fun filled and relaxing weekend. I plan on lying around naked for longer than is necessary. And I plan to finger my cunt feverishly. Or at least until it bleeds!
Love and hugs and kisses and slaps in the face!
Peace out.
Well, my bad mood has passed, so now I can be totally honest when I say that I LOVED Friends last night! I was being a bitch yesterday and I didn’t give the show the absolute credit it deserves. As the clip show aired, I started to get all sentimental. Monica, Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Chandler…dammit I’m REALLY gonna miss those friends of ours.
In my opinion, the finale was done in perfect Friends tradition. There was the suspense of Ross and Rachel, the storyline filler of Joey and Chandler’s breaking the fooz ball table, and the crazy Phoebe acting out in ridiculous ways to provide ultimate comic relief. As the show drew closer to 10pm, I felt really sad inside. If you were in front of your television last night watching this finale, you were a part of history in the making.
When I woke up this morning, my first thought was “Friends is truly over now. No matter how you feel about the show itself, it’s now off the air. An era, as we know it, has been completed. Unless you were in Cancun celebrating your honeymoon, last night’s viewing is something that you will remember for the rest of your life. Where were YOU during the last episode of Friends?
In other news, my generous friend, Kelly, bought me the new Nelly Furtado CD, Folklore. I can’t explain to you how fucking awesome it is. That girl is a musical genius. If you don’t have it already, and you enjoyed the first album she put out, go and get the new one. It’s much different, but totally top notch. I am big into most kinds of music as it is, but it’s very rare that I get a CD that’s as exceptional as this one is. I mean…One Trick Pony is where it’s at!
So glad its Friday! I’m muchly looking forward to going out in the city tonight for a raging good time. No lesbian bars though…I’d prefer to go home in one piece. I have a lot of writing to do this weekend as well as sleep to catch up on. Also, if I go another weekend without seeing Kill Bill, I’m going to cut my dick off. I’ve been dying to see it for years and years and I never get the opportunity. Well, that all changes this weekend! Bill…here I cum!
That should be it for me! I hope everyone has a fun filled and relaxing weekend. I plan on lying around naked for longer than is necessary. And I plan to finger my cunt feverishly. Or at least until it bleeds!
Love and hugs and kisses and slaps in the face!
Peace out.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Friendly Irritation
So funny. I’ve been in the best mood all day. Then, I laid down for my daily nap and woke up in an irritated mood. Maybe it’s because the security guard in our building was screaming like a fucking banshee throughout the entire hour. Or maybe it’s cuz I was just not in the mood to sit back at my desk after the morning was a full bodied beastmaster. In either case, FUCK! I gotta shake this mood before I leave here. My job is not important enough for me to take any of the attitude home with me. Seriously now.
Tonight is the Friends finale. Big news, eh? I mean, it’s all over the newspapers and television channels. I’m super sad it’s going to be over and I just love those Friends characters to death, but enough already! How many goodbye specials do I have to endure? Oh yeah, that’s right. Only one more!
In a way, I’m pretty excited that Friends will be finished. It’s always exciting to me when the Television gets a programming overhaul. Some of the biggest shows of the decade are ending for good. Well, that is, if you really CARED that Frasier was going off the air. I thought those old farts kicked the bucket years ago, but I was wrong. Niles and Daphne and whoever else bores me to death will be finishing their run next week. Tune in and get your last dose of free sleeping pills!
Gathering with some of my OWN friends tonight to watch the finale. It should be pretty low key and that is fine by me. I am going to cuddle up with a bottle of wine and sip away as Ross and Rachel fuck each other, yet don’t actually get together, for the last time. I’m also going to die laughing when Monica pretends to not have a baby in her OWN stomach as she pulls the baby out of Anna Faris’s vagina. PRETTY hilarious. And Joey…yeah well…am I the only person in America who is confident that his break out show next fall will bomb miserably? I have the best wishes for him, but he was always my LEAST favorite character on the show. Does this mean that I’m going to have to watch him be a stupid ass for a FULL half an hour next year?
And what is this with Brad and Jen breaking up? Can they NOT? I guess there is no such thing as beauty queens finding true love in each other.
Paul just called me to tell me that he has to work tonight and will not be hanging with us during the finale. This sucks because now I will be chilling out with the recently broken up/taking it slower Kelly and Jen. That’s ok, but when you combine it with Mariah and her slutty ex-girlfriend (who I do NOT speak to) as my only other compadres, it makes for a shady evening. I told myself that if Paul bailed, I would go home and chill at my apartment alone. But I will probably suck it up and go to the finale thing anyway. FUCK! I really wanted him to be there tonight.
I guess that’s it. So much for improving my mood.
I’m going to go punch my boss in the dick and nuts. If anything, THAT should bring a smile to my face.
ENJOY your Friends filled evening.
So funny. I’ve been in the best mood all day. Then, I laid down for my daily nap and woke up in an irritated mood. Maybe it’s because the security guard in our building was screaming like a fucking banshee throughout the entire hour. Or maybe it’s cuz I was just not in the mood to sit back at my desk after the morning was a full bodied beastmaster. In either case, FUCK! I gotta shake this mood before I leave here. My job is not important enough for me to take any of the attitude home with me. Seriously now.
Tonight is the Friends finale. Big news, eh? I mean, it’s all over the newspapers and television channels. I’m super sad it’s going to be over and I just love those Friends characters to death, but enough already! How many goodbye specials do I have to endure? Oh yeah, that’s right. Only one more!
In a way, I’m pretty excited that Friends will be finished. It’s always exciting to me when the Television gets a programming overhaul. Some of the biggest shows of the decade are ending for good. Well, that is, if you really CARED that Frasier was going off the air. I thought those old farts kicked the bucket years ago, but I was wrong. Niles and Daphne and whoever else bores me to death will be finishing their run next week. Tune in and get your last dose of free sleeping pills!
Gathering with some of my OWN friends tonight to watch the finale. It should be pretty low key and that is fine by me. I am going to cuddle up with a bottle of wine and sip away as Ross and Rachel fuck each other, yet don’t actually get together, for the last time. I’m also going to die laughing when Monica pretends to not have a baby in her OWN stomach as she pulls the baby out of Anna Faris’s vagina. PRETTY hilarious. And Joey…yeah well…am I the only person in America who is confident that his break out show next fall will bomb miserably? I have the best wishes for him, but he was always my LEAST favorite character on the show. Does this mean that I’m going to have to watch him be a stupid ass for a FULL half an hour next year?
And what is this with Brad and Jen breaking up? Can they NOT? I guess there is no such thing as beauty queens finding true love in each other.
Paul just called me to tell me that he has to work tonight and will not be hanging with us during the finale. This sucks because now I will be chilling out with the recently broken up/taking it slower Kelly and Jen. That’s ok, but when you combine it with Mariah and her slutty ex-girlfriend (who I do NOT speak to) as my only other compadres, it makes for a shady evening. I told myself that if Paul bailed, I would go home and chill at my apartment alone. But I will probably suck it up and go to the finale thing anyway. FUCK! I really wanted him to be there tonight.
I guess that’s it. So much for improving my mood.
I’m going to go punch my boss in the dick and nuts. If anything, THAT should bring a smile to my face.
ENJOY your Friends filled evening.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Dental DAMN!
I was up at 7am this morning with my palms sweating and my heart beating out of my chest. I had been dreading my 10:30am dentist appointment since I made it. As the days grew closer, the pit in my stomach got deeper and my nerves began to fray. More than anything in the world, I am most terrified of going to the dentist.
When I showed up for my appointment, the receptionist (Nelly) could see the look of fear on my face. She asked if I was “ok” and if I “wanted a drink of water”. I told her that I was just a bit nervous, but that I would be ok. I sat down and stared at the wall. Eventually, Nelly got up from around her desk and came out into the waiting room. She offered me a magazine and reassured me that the appointment wouldn’t be as bad as I was anticipating. I truly felt comforted by her.
I was called in for my appointment and I really felt as though I was going to vomit on the floor. I took my seat in the chair and the dental hygienist (Anita) came in to talk to me about the cleaning. I explained that I haven’t been to a dentist in over two years because of my overwhelming fear. She told me that that was common and that she would do whatever was in her power to make the visit as painless as possible.
I did my best to relax as she took a full set of X-rays and began picking away at the tartar buildup. Anita was extremely kind and talked to me throughout the process. She said that there was an incredible amount of tartar buildup underneath my gums. She picked at that shit for a half an hour as I squirmed in my seat. Even with her being as gentle as possible, there were still moments of agony.
Finally we moved on to the cleaning and then it was over! The actual dentist came in then and I was surprised to see that he was incredibly hot. He is very young and dressed well and I loved looking in to his eyes as he consulted me on the proper brushing etiquette. He showed me my X-rays and told me that my teeth are in excellent condition. I don’t have any cavities and they are strong and healthy. Unfortunately, my gums are showing the beginning signs of subdermal gingivitis.
The dentist explained to me that I would have to come in at the end of the month for a periodontal scraping. He described this procedure as a deep cleaning of the area underneath my gums. SICK! They are going to give me some Novocain type cream and then dig below the surface. The idea of it is enough to make me pass out, but when I talked to my mom she explained the procedure to me and it doesn’t sound too complicated.
After I was finished, I hugged Anita and proceeded to check out with Nelly. We made our next appointment and I was pleased to find out that I didn’t even have to pay a co-pay fee. It was all covered by my insurance. Thank the Lord! As we know, going to the dentist doesn’t only hurt your mouth, it hurts your wallet.
I walked out of the office on cloud 9. Not only do I have teeth in good condition, the appointment is over! I don’t have to deal with this again for at least another couple of months…well except for that dreaded gum scraping thing. Blech.
I prayed so hard that this appointment would go well and it surely did. If you ever think you have a problem that is too small for God, you are wrong. He is there with you; even when it’s for something as minute as having a bi-annual cleaning!
Now I can eat my pizza in peace.
I was up at 7am this morning with my palms sweating and my heart beating out of my chest. I had been dreading my 10:30am dentist appointment since I made it. As the days grew closer, the pit in my stomach got deeper and my nerves began to fray. More than anything in the world, I am most terrified of going to the dentist.
When I showed up for my appointment, the receptionist (Nelly) could see the look of fear on my face. She asked if I was “ok” and if I “wanted a drink of water”. I told her that I was just a bit nervous, but that I would be ok. I sat down and stared at the wall. Eventually, Nelly got up from around her desk and came out into the waiting room. She offered me a magazine and reassured me that the appointment wouldn’t be as bad as I was anticipating. I truly felt comforted by her.
I was called in for my appointment and I really felt as though I was going to vomit on the floor. I took my seat in the chair and the dental hygienist (Anita) came in to talk to me about the cleaning. I explained that I haven’t been to a dentist in over two years because of my overwhelming fear. She told me that that was common and that she would do whatever was in her power to make the visit as painless as possible.
I did my best to relax as she took a full set of X-rays and began picking away at the tartar buildup. Anita was extremely kind and talked to me throughout the process. She said that there was an incredible amount of tartar buildup underneath my gums. She picked at that shit for a half an hour as I squirmed in my seat. Even with her being as gentle as possible, there were still moments of agony.
Finally we moved on to the cleaning and then it was over! The actual dentist came in then and I was surprised to see that he was incredibly hot. He is very young and dressed well and I loved looking in to his eyes as he consulted me on the proper brushing etiquette. He showed me my X-rays and told me that my teeth are in excellent condition. I don’t have any cavities and they are strong and healthy. Unfortunately, my gums are showing the beginning signs of subdermal gingivitis.
The dentist explained to me that I would have to come in at the end of the month for a periodontal scraping. He described this procedure as a deep cleaning of the area underneath my gums. SICK! They are going to give me some Novocain type cream and then dig below the surface. The idea of it is enough to make me pass out, but when I talked to my mom she explained the procedure to me and it doesn’t sound too complicated.
After I was finished, I hugged Anita and proceeded to check out with Nelly. We made our next appointment and I was pleased to find out that I didn’t even have to pay a co-pay fee. It was all covered by my insurance. Thank the Lord! As we know, going to the dentist doesn’t only hurt your mouth, it hurts your wallet.
I walked out of the office on cloud 9. Not only do I have teeth in good condition, the appointment is over! I don’t have to deal with this again for at least another couple of months…well except for that dreaded gum scraping thing. Blech.
I prayed so hard that this appointment would go well and it surely did. If you ever think you have a problem that is too small for God, you are wrong. He is there with you; even when it’s for something as minute as having a bi-annual cleaning!
Now I can eat my pizza in peace.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
THE Wedding of 2004
Wellity, wellity…I am back from the wedding with about a hundred wonderful memories! The whole weekend was nothing short of amazing. In fact, it went much more smoothly than I had anticipated. Rita had put a LOT of work into the planning of her day, but there is always the fear that something will go incredibly wrong and send the whole wedding spiraling into mass confusion. Fortunately, there were NO scares, at least from what I noticed. Just people dancing and laughing and hugging and having an overall top notch good time.
I showed up at the wedding rehearsal just in time on Friday. I had gone tanning the day before and my face and body was noticeably scorched. Paul rented a fire red convertible Mustang for the drive up, so needless to say, driving with the top down for hours left my face as red as a just ripe tomato.
At the rehearsal, I met the other groomsman and reconnected with my wonderful ladies from college. The church was beautiful, and Rita looked like she was glowing with pure excitement and joy. No hitches at the rehearsal and off we went to an amazing sit down rehearsal dinner. We drank wine and vodka tonics and talked our faces off for a couple of hours. Upon returning to the hotel, it was much of the same, except for the half an hour Rita and I got to spend just the two of us. I gave her my special gift and we hugged for about 20 minutes straight.
On Saturday, I had Paul drive me over to the mall so that I could get my tuxedo. My best girls (and also bridesmaids) from school decided to pull out their selfish bitch natures and refused to drive me to the mall themselves. Unfortunately, I missed out on Rita getting her hair done, but I did get to help her in to her wedding dress right before the ceremony. Her sister was there as well and the three of us made sure that she was the most beautiful bride to ever walk down the aisle.
The ceremony itself was an emotional rollercoaster. There were many tears and I found myself chewing on my trembling lower lip for most of it. Staring at Rita in her contemporary, yet elegant wedding dress, standing before her unbelievably handsome fiancé gave me feelings of joy and sadness that could only be summed up as intense. Their vows were part sentimental/part hilarious and when they looked in to each other’s eyes and said “I do”, the entire crowd swelled with emotion.
The photographer took just about 2 hours of pictures. I am dying to see them! I have been told that Rita’s mom will be sending us a copy of all of them via email, so I am anxiously waiting for them to come through. I think I looked good in my tux, although I felt like the jacket and vest they prepared for me was a tad too big. Makes sense, since the combined weight of the 6 groomsman had to be over 1500 pounds. You should have seen me standing next to all of the other guys. I looked like I was a 6 year old waif.
The reception was one of the best times I have ever had in my life. The food was good, but was only eaten for about 10 minutes. As soon as the DJ started playing music, the dance floor filled up and didn’t empty until the event shut down at midnight. Unbelievably, it was open bar until the last hour. We were all shocked by that one. The amount of money to keep an open bar for 4 hours is extraordinary. Rita knows how to throw a bash, that’s for sure.
Rita’s selection of music for the night was just about flawless. Of course you had your classics, but she made sure to throw in some “Justin Timberlake” and “Humpty Dance” as well. I was able to make some new friends on the dance floor and I also had some very memorable slow dances with some of Rita’s family. The whole night was just perfect.
When we got back to the hotel, everyone got changed and met in the lobby for a few more drinks. I wiped out around 1am and went back to my hotel room to hang with Paul and the girls. I have to say, Paul was absolutely incredible through the entire trip. He barely drank any alcohol, yet managed to make idle conversation and keep a smile on his face throughout the evening. When I would look over at him, my heart pumped with feelings of love and respect. He was, without a doubt, the most handsome guy at the wedding, wearing his expensive suit and Versace tie.
Saying goodbye to Rita on Sunday was a bit difficult to do. I was just about out of tears at that point, but I did make sure to hug her as long as I could. She is no longer just my Rita. She is now married and I will forever have to share her with her new husband. I couldn’t ask for a better guy to share such an incredible girl with. He was so sweet and kind to me throughout the weekend and I truly believe that their wedding and relationship is blessed by God. There aren’t two people who are more right for each other.
Rita is now in Cancun on her honeymoon. I hope she remembers to brush her teeth with bottled water. Otherwise, she’s going to have runny poops all week! I am muchly looking forward to seeing her again in a couple of weeks. Now that she’s married and all…
There have been few weekends in my life that have been filled with so much joy and love. I still get choked up thinking about it. I wish I could repeat it every weekend for the rest of my life. Or at least every weekend until I get married.
I love you Rita! This is just the beginning. I am so proud of you for taking this step and I am here for you every day for the rest of your life.
Can you have a baby now that I can love and keep as my own?
Wellity, wellity…I am back from the wedding with about a hundred wonderful memories! The whole weekend was nothing short of amazing. In fact, it went much more smoothly than I had anticipated. Rita had put a LOT of work into the planning of her day, but there is always the fear that something will go incredibly wrong and send the whole wedding spiraling into mass confusion. Fortunately, there were NO scares, at least from what I noticed. Just people dancing and laughing and hugging and having an overall top notch good time.
I showed up at the wedding rehearsal just in time on Friday. I had gone tanning the day before and my face and body was noticeably scorched. Paul rented a fire red convertible Mustang for the drive up, so needless to say, driving with the top down for hours left my face as red as a just ripe tomato.
At the rehearsal, I met the other groomsman and reconnected with my wonderful ladies from college. The church was beautiful, and Rita looked like she was glowing with pure excitement and joy. No hitches at the rehearsal and off we went to an amazing sit down rehearsal dinner. We drank wine and vodka tonics and talked our faces off for a couple of hours. Upon returning to the hotel, it was much of the same, except for the half an hour Rita and I got to spend just the two of us. I gave her my special gift and we hugged for about 20 minutes straight.
On Saturday, I had Paul drive me over to the mall so that I could get my tuxedo. My best girls (and also bridesmaids) from school decided to pull out their selfish bitch natures and refused to drive me to the mall themselves. Unfortunately, I missed out on Rita getting her hair done, but I did get to help her in to her wedding dress right before the ceremony. Her sister was there as well and the three of us made sure that she was the most beautiful bride to ever walk down the aisle.
The ceremony itself was an emotional rollercoaster. There were many tears and I found myself chewing on my trembling lower lip for most of it. Staring at Rita in her contemporary, yet elegant wedding dress, standing before her unbelievably handsome fiancé gave me feelings of joy and sadness that could only be summed up as intense. Their vows were part sentimental/part hilarious and when they looked in to each other’s eyes and said “I do”, the entire crowd swelled with emotion.
The photographer took just about 2 hours of pictures. I am dying to see them! I have been told that Rita’s mom will be sending us a copy of all of them via email, so I am anxiously waiting for them to come through. I think I looked good in my tux, although I felt like the jacket and vest they prepared for me was a tad too big. Makes sense, since the combined weight of the 6 groomsman had to be over 1500 pounds. You should have seen me standing next to all of the other guys. I looked like I was a 6 year old waif.
The reception was one of the best times I have ever had in my life. The food was good, but was only eaten for about 10 minutes. As soon as the DJ started playing music, the dance floor filled up and didn’t empty until the event shut down at midnight. Unbelievably, it was open bar until the last hour. We were all shocked by that one. The amount of money to keep an open bar for 4 hours is extraordinary. Rita knows how to throw a bash, that’s for sure.
Rita’s selection of music for the night was just about flawless. Of course you had your classics, but she made sure to throw in some “Justin Timberlake” and “Humpty Dance” as well. I was able to make some new friends on the dance floor and I also had some very memorable slow dances with some of Rita’s family. The whole night was just perfect.
When we got back to the hotel, everyone got changed and met in the lobby for a few more drinks. I wiped out around 1am and went back to my hotel room to hang with Paul and the girls. I have to say, Paul was absolutely incredible through the entire trip. He barely drank any alcohol, yet managed to make idle conversation and keep a smile on his face throughout the evening. When I would look over at him, my heart pumped with feelings of love and respect. He was, without a doubt, the most handsome guy at the wedding, wearing his expensive suit and Versace tie.
Saying goodbye to Rita on Sunday was a bit difficult to do. I was just about out of tears at that point, but I did make sure to hug her as long as I could. She is no longer just my Rita. She is now married and I will forever have to share her with her new husband. I couldn’t ask for a better guy to share such an incredible girl with. He was so sweet and kind to me throughout the weekend and I truly believe that their wedding and relationship is blessed by God. There aren’t two people who are more right for each other.
Rita is now in Cancun on her honeymoon. I hope she remembers to brush her teeth with bottled water. Otherwise, she’s going to have runny poops all week! I am muchly looking forward to seeing her again in a couple of weeks. Now that she’s married and all…
There have been few weekends in my life that have been filled with so much joy and love. I still get choked up thinking about it. I wish I could repeat it every weekend for the rest of my life. Or at least every weekend until I get married.
I love you Rita! This is just the beginning. I am so proud of you for taking this step and I am here for you every day for the rest of your life.
Can you have a baby now that I can love and keep as my own?
Monday, May 03, 2004
GAH!
Work is so crazy today! I haven't had a free second to do anything, much less play around and write in my journal.
The wedding was incredible. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful time. I have so many things to share about it and will do so tomorrow.
Until then, wish me luck in getting through the rest of my unbelievably hellish day.
SMOOCHES!
Work is so crazy today! I haven't had a free second to do anything, much less play around and write in my journal.
The wedding was incredible. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful time. I have so many things to share about it and will do so tomorrow.
Until then, wish me luck in getting through the rest of my unbelievably hellish day.
SMOOCHES!
